When You Feel Like You're Not Doing Enough | Imposter Syndrome

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Hey, Hey everybody. So I just want to celebrate something real quick. It's September 19th and I'm recording a couple of podcast episodes for next month for you guys. And I was checking out my QuickBooks and my business Jillian Parekh Coaching has hit a huge fucking milestone, and that is I have officially created a six figure business.

So I don't really count 2018 because I literally made $0. And it's not really on the books because I didn't exactly claim anything. I think I made like a hundred bucks, not even, but so I technically count 2019 as like the first real year in business. And last year I made $12,000. And at this point I have now made about $87,000 this year in 2020. So that means that I have hit six figures in my business in total, and I'm going to hit six figures in 2020 by the end of the year. And this feels really surreal to me. It also feels kind of uncomfortable sharing it and not making it sound like I'm boasting or make it sound like I'm thinking that I'm better than anybody because I'm doing this. It truly is something that like, I never thought that I would do because I always had that thing of it's going to work for everybody else, but it's not going to work for me, or I'm not going to be able to find the secret sauce or I don't have what that other coach has.

And this is just like your reminder that you can literally do anything that you put your mind to. And when you unravel those beliefs that are holding you back, when you stop telling yourself a bullshit story that you know is just holding you back, that is when you open the doors for change to happen. And honestly, there have been a lot of really shitty things that have happened in 2020. But the success of my business has like, my business has really thrived because I've been able to work from home. And that has been amazing for me. And I am so grateful for all of that while still being aware and mindful that 2020 has been a really hard year financially for a lot of people. But I think I want to use this as a way for people to see that, like, it doesn't have to be like everybody else.

You don't have to be like every one else in terms of struggling, you don't have to tell yourself a story of, well, because of COVID I can't sell. Like I remember when COVID happened, me and Julia were launching our mastermind and I was outwardly telling her and telling myself, I was like, it's going to be fine. Like people are wanting to build their businesses. It's going to be fine, but there's always that little piece of like, Oh my God, are people going to freak out or not want to spend their money? So we did have extended payment plans for that group. But at the end of the day, it was really the story that we were telling ourselves of if people were going to pay or they weren't going to pay. And what mattered was the fact that we told each other and told ourselves that like, people need this, they need to build their businesses.

They need to be more self sufficient, especially during this really scary time. And it all ended up working out. And I'm so glad that I led with that mentality because 2020 for me has been a really financially abundant year. And it also has been rich and abundant in like my own personal development and hiring coaches who are really aligned to me and joining a money mindset mastermind and doing things that like I technically couldn't afford at this time last year. And it's funny, cause I went to a conference last year and I wrote a letter to myself because we were all supposed to write a letter to our future selves. And then we handed them in and they were going to be mailed to us. And I was wondering when I was going to get mine and I got mine last week. And in it, there's a lot of things that haven't happened yet, which is fine.

But in it, it says I have hit six figures in my business. So I've hit a hundred K in my business and I have a team that I love and I immediately screenshot it to my OBM. And I was like, look at this, look at this shit. Like I was so proud of myself because when I wrote that I had no idea how the fuck I was gonna make a hundred K like I literally had no like no idea. I was like, yeah, I'm just going to like say that I'm going to hit it. I didn't really have a ton of belief behind it, but I was like, Hey, like you never know. And it actually happened around the time that I received it in the mail, which is crazy. So join me in celebrating that Jillian Parekh Coaching has hit six figures in total and I'm going to hit six figures in my business for the year, very shortly in about a month.

And I am just so grateful and so excited and am really grateful to have you in my community. If you are an avid listener or you're just jumping in now and you're like, what the hell? How did this mindset coach from a small town in Ontario Canada make a hundred K? And this is just an example again, of how like you ain't special. Like I used to think I was so unique and so special. I'm never going to be able to do what everybody else does. It's never going to be easy for me. And that's just not the case. When you decide it can be easy when you decide that you can do things and that you're going to make it work no matter what really amazing things happen. I promise you. And that leads me to kind of talk about, because I always kind of have this belief about how I'm never doing enough.

Like, it always felt like I was never doing enough. I was never doing enough work. I was never doing enough. Um working on and in my business that I wasn't posting enough Instagram stories that, that I wasn't selling enough, et cetera. And if we think about it, a lot of the things in the online space are to sell to us that we aren't doing enough and that we therefore then need what the person is offering. And the same goes for like traditional advertising too, in terms of them being like, hey, you, aren't doing this in your morning routine or you're not doing this in your skincare routine, or you're not doing this with your car or your kids or whatever, buy this service or product, and therefore it'll be enough. But this is a really common feeling when it comes to feeling like an imposter in terms of being like, if I was qualified or if I knew what I was doing, I would do this.

I would know enough. I would feel like enough, but a question I really want to ask you is what exactly is enough because you're enough looks very different to my enough. You know what I mean? And another thing is like, you are going to be doing work that in a year, you're going to be like, damn, that was busy work. That wasn't intentional work. I work way less than I did last year, but I make so much more money this year. And that's because I'm really intentional with what I am working on. And if it's something that's just busy work, I'm like, no, like this, ain't it like this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. And the thing is, is like when you are an avid overworker, so let's say you're like me in that you have a really hard time slowing down.

I actually realized that this was like a symptom of like really high functioning anxiety in terms of always feeling like I need to be doing something. Whether that's like listening to a empowering podcast, whether that's going and working out, whether that's just like filling my time with things that made me feel productive. And like I'm, I'm worthy of using that time. And the thing is is you teach yourself that every time you're telling yourself, I need a break. I just want to slow down. I just want to relax. And you force yourself to work. You are teaching yourself, you're teaching herself that this is what you're supposed to be doing. That this is the norm, that it isn't good enough for you to just relax and take the time for yourself and listen to your self and your body that you actually should be doing more because the reality is then you're actually doing a task or two.

So like, let's say if I knew I had to record these podcasts today, but I was really not feeling up to it, which I felt totally up to it. I was ready to go. I am happy to be doing this on my Saturday, but there have been times in which I didn't want to record on a Saturday, but I didn't have a choice because I had to work in the office all week. So I had to record on a Saturday, but I was just feeling so drained and so tired and not wanting to. So if I would tell myself, Nope, you have to record the podcasts. I would be showing myself that well, even though I really didn't want to, and I felt drained and tired, I did it anyways. And then I got all those episodes done, how great, but then that is really promoting burnout that is really promoting for you to not take the time for yourself and to not listen to yourself and your body.

And that means that, that you're not in integrity with the way you speak to yourself and the way that you listen to yourself. And we need to be in integrity with our brain because when we can listen to ourselves, intuitively stay in tune to our body. Then we are able to trust ourselves more, make quicker decisions trust in when we want to do an investment option or when we are doing anything in our business at all, we trust that we know what's best for us because there's always that feeling of am I doing enough? Is this good enough? Can I trust myself? Am I going to be able to do it? And if you're constantly ignoring your body's nudges, if you're constantly ignoring your brain's need for a break, then you're constantly teaching yourself that your word is not valuable. That what you have to say, isn't worth it. And instead you need to look externally for your validation and for your praise and for your good enoughness.

And I just want to

Ask you again, what is enough when you think to yourself, did I do enough this week? Who defined enough for you? If you can go back and really think about who defined enough for you really do that and how do you define it for yourself? So there have been times when I've had a huge list on my plate, I've accomplished everything on the list. And I still am thinking to myself, I could do more. It's not enough.

So the,

The thing is, is there is no barometer. There's no metric for us to measure against what is enough, because we all have different things that are good enough. But if you're constantly telling yourself, it's not enough, it's never going to feel good enough. You are never going to feel like the work that you do is enough. If, if you yourself, don't give yourself permission for it to be good enough, does this make sense?

So another,

Thing is, is the comparison piece that comes into it. So it can be really easy for you to look at other people who are on Instagram doing their thing. And they're like uploading reels. And they're talking about their days and their Instagram stories saying like, Hey, I have a call with this person and this person and they're, they're uploading posts and they're doing this and they're doing that. But you're only seeing a sliver of their life. You're only seeing the highlight reel and this is very conceptually, easy to understand, but like for us to look at people and be like, I'm not doing enough. That's a very automatic reaction to seeing what everybody else is doing. Right. We, we really have to tap into the fact that like, they probably have a team. So for example, I had somebody who I think I was recording a meditation or something, and somebody was like, you do so much.

It's crazy. And I'm like, Oh, don't be fooled that I am kind of an overworker first of all. And it's something I'm working on, but I also have a full team behind me. So after I record this podcast, I just hand it off to my VA and her team. And like, they take care of it for me. I have somebody whose working on my Pinterest. I have somebody who's working on my systems in the backend. There are things that, yes, I used to do myself, but I honestly have done way less before. And that's because I am only one person. And when I was doing all of these things that I'm doing now and doing them all for myself, I was very burnt out and very exhausted. And that translates into your business when you're burnt out, when you're tired, energetically, that translates into your calls with clients.

So let's say you're burning yourself out. You're exhausted. But you're like, I just have to keep going. I have to get this podcast episode done or have to get this PDF done or this meditation done, whatever. But then you're really tired. So you go to bed and you're all wired and you can't sleep. And then you don't get a good night's sleep. And then you get up and you're trying to move through the day, but you're exhausted physically. You're also going to be exhausted mentally. And what that happens is that it drains our emotional energy. We start thinking things like I can't do this. I'm too tired. I am not able to complete this task. And now I feel like shit about myself, but I couldn't complete it because I needed a nap. And now I feel bad about myself. I have to jump on my call and I feel frazzled.

There are so many like repercussions that bleed into your business. When you are doing things that are draining you energetically and emotionally, and you may think I'm getting so much stuff done, but at what cost at what cost to your emotions, at what cost to your energy because your mind is what carries you through your business. Your mind is what carries you through working with people and client retention and doing all these things. And if you don't have a good handle on your energy and on your mind, it's going to be really hard for you to feel like you're capable and that you can do this. It's going to be really hard for your business to be sustainable because you can't sustain your own energy and work on yourself, as time goes on. This is a really good lead in to the energy management bundle that I have that has already come out.

So I'm, I'm actually going to link it because I'm doing a launch for it at the end of this month, which is September. But when you're listening to this, it's going to be October. So the energy management bundle is for entrepreneurs who really want to preserve their energy and protect themselves from, from feeling drained, energetically and emotionally. There's a couple meditations in there. There some EFT tapping for energy, there is breath work for energy, and it's only $33. You guys like super cheap, super affordable. So you can go to the link in the show notes, and you can grab that for again, only $33. It's such a steal, but there's some really good stuff in there. And essentially this did not mean I did not mean to turn this into a pitch, but it ended up being that way. Cause I was just like, oh, this is going in the area of energy.

But essentially when you are asking yourself, I didn't do enough this week or telling yourself I didn't do enough this week really ask yourself, but what is enough and really try and get specific. Remember that imposter syndrome thrives on your thoughts, being arbitrary and vague. It thrives on not knowing what you're afraid of. Just like anxiety, anxiety, thrives on being worried about something, but not being able to get specific enough about it to be like, oh, this is actually an issue I don't need to worry about. You know what I mean? The same thing goes, the same thing goes for your imposter syndrome in terms of looking at other people and being like, I'm not doing enough, but you only see a sliver of what they're doing first of all, and you cannot compare yourself to what they're doing. And you also cannot compare yourself to some unrealistic expectation that you perhaps have for yourself.

I know that this was the case for me. I had a really high expectations for how I was supposed to be performing and doing and always personally developing. If I wasn't listening to a podcast episode, that was for my growth. If I wasn't reading a book that wasn't for my growth. If I took a couple hours off in a weekend, I berated myself for it. There is no need for it. There is no fucking need for it. You are filling your own cup. When you take the time for yourself, of course you need to get shit done. Of course you need to give yourself a little bit of tough love, but what's wrong with getting what you need to done and then just leaving it for the next week. You are going to bypass your life, if you spend so much time catching up on things and trying to do stuff in advance so you can enjoy your time. Guess what? You're not going to enjoy your time. You're going to look for more shit to do. I have always been that person who is looking into the future and thinking I'm going to get all these things done so I can enjoy and relax in the future.

But this comes back to that

Emotional quota concept that I think I've introduced in the podcast before. But when you are so used to feeling an emotion when you were so used to feeling a certain way. So if you're so used to overworking and powering through and work, work, work, and burning yourself out, when you start doing some personal development or when you start taking a break, your brain and your physical self is like, hey, we're so

Used to like, go, go going, that this

Feels weird. We don't like it. We're going to make you feel so uncomfortable until you do something to get yourself back on track, because we're used to feeling anxious. We're used to feeling like we're overworking. We're used to doing this. We're used to doing that. And then you start looking for things and therefore self sabotaging yourself and finding something new to do and taking on a new project or taking on a new client or saying that, oh yeah, I'll adjust that payment plan for you and you can actually pay less when, like, you really don't want to do that. And that's because our bodies are so used to feeling a certain way. And when we start to do the work on ourselves and we start to like leave room for relaxation and rest and like really intentional inspired thought, if you're not used to that, your body's going to try and drag you back into it.

So let's always remember this, that we need to be more specific about the questions that we ask ourselves in terms of like, what is enough, what really is enough? And you need to define that for yourself. And you need to be in integrity with your thoughts and with how you do things. You need to be integrity with the trust that you have in yourself. So if you say to yourself, I need a break. I'm going to take an hour to meditate or just lie down and have a nap. I have actually been doing this lately in that, like, if I really feel called to just fucking not do something, even though it's on my list, I don't, I've been toying around with it just to see how it feels to really listen to myself and my body. And it has been so much better. I have so much trust in myself that I know I'm going to get shit done, because if I know I have to get stuff done, I do it.

I know how to schedule my time. I know how to plan my time, but I also listen to my body and listen to my brain. And I know that if I need something, I'm going to intuitively know that, and this is building that integrity and that trust in myself. And that's what you need. You need the integrity and the trust in yourself. Because when you start to feel like a fraud or not feel good enough, you immediately will resort back to that trust in yourself. You'll immediately resort back to those thoughts of, but what is enough? Like that's just a silly, arbitrary thing that's been ingrained in me from societal programming or cultural programming or my childhood or whatever. And it's simply not true. And you can tell your inner imposter to fuck off when that happens. So I hope that this podcast episode was helpful for you guys.

Again, it's all about allowing yourself to feel better and feel like enough. So when you do that again, it's all about building that trust in yourself, building that integrity. So you can combat that inner imposter whenever she tries to come up and tell you what's up, you can say, see you later, Rhonda, or whatever the hell her name is. So I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your week. Again, the energy management bundle is available at the link in my show notes, and that is only $33 and it is a fucking steal. So grab that, if you are a female entrepreneur who needs to preserve her energy, protect her emotional and physical and mental energy. If you work with clients, it'll change your life. Talk to you guys later.


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