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Listen to this episode on the From Imposter to Empowered podcast:
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How can you charge 4-figures for your coaching package? Even if you have charged more than $1000 before, this will still come up for my clients who have thoughts around what coaching is worth, and not believing someone will pay them a certain amount when they increase their prices. So letโs get down to business!
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So here are the things I think you need to get your brain around:
ย ย โจย The value of emotional labour
ย ย โจย Getting clear on your impossible result
ย ย โจย Having a GOOD process you take your clients through; and
ย ย โจย Being the supporting actor when you think youโre the main character
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First, you have to believe in the value of emotional labour. If you think about it from a societal and patriarchal perspective, emotional labor is not seen as worthy and as important than other kinds of โworkโ. My fianceโs mom is a personal support worker, and she spends all day dressing, bathin...
This year, on my 29th birthday, my high school sweetheart proposed to me and asked me to be his wife! Weโre so excited.โฃ
And you should know, Iโve waited foreverrrrr for this moment - we were 15 when we started dating. And about 5 years ago, I really started to wonder when the ring was coming.
It became a running joke in my family (Dustin was super happy about that ๐คฃ ), and I would think constantly about what it would be like once we were engaged and could plan our wedding.โฃ
I always knew the ring was coming, even when it wasnโt a physical manifestation yet. And when a couple years went by and I saw everyone else getting engaged, married, having kids (๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฎ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ!), I started to wonder when it would happen for me.โฃ
๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐ข๐! ย And every little thing over the past 14 years didnโt matter anymore.โฃ
Your business is this way, too.โฃ
Every investment youโve made, every task youโve completed, every late night youโve spent doing content for the next day - itโs ...
1๏ธโฃ You donโt ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ want what you say you want.โฃ
You say you want 10 clients, but do you actually want 10 clients? Subconsciously, you could be resisting your goal because you know you donโt have the time or the resources.
Or maybe you donโt feel good enough, so even though you say you want clients, you actually donโt know what youโd even do with them if you did have clients. โฃ
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2๏ธโฃ You donโt feel worthy of what you want.โฃ
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You have a goal to make $100K in your business this year - and even though so many people in this space have done that, you donโt think that you can achieve that based on what you think & feel about yourself.โฃ
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3๏ธโฃ You subconsciously think the thing you want will make you uncomfortable or it will be difficult.โฃ
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And then if you have to be uncomfortable or the tasks to get to your goal are perceived as โdifficultโ, youโre afraid that those negative feelings will lead you down the shame spiral or make you feel bad, so you avoid, avoid, avoid, even when you say you want...
This Is What I Call The Other Shoe Effectย ๐
When youโre subconsciously pushing away good-feeling experiences in your business because when you feel good, your internal alarm goes off, letting you know that something bad might happen.
So you subconsciously push away success or feeling good, because youโre worried that something bad has to happen as a result of your happiness.
This might look like - not celebrating after a good launch or signing a client, feeling the need to overwork and โdoโ more when things are feeling calm + easy, or spending more money than youโre making once you start hitting higher months!
Itโs important to remember that your brain is always trying to keep you safe. Itโs job is to scope out danger when thereโs uncertainty or when your โguard is downโ.
Work on proving old stories wrong, consistently grounding yourself and your body, and practicing better feeling thoughts that wonโt take you down the shame spiral ๐ค
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Find more from Coach Jill by goingย HERE!
๐๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ซ ๐จ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ.โฃ
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You decide what you give meaning.โฃ
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On the playground, I found out a boy in our class liked me. Another schoolmate turned to me and said, โWhy would ๐ฉ๐ฆ like ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ?โโฃ
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I wondered what it could possibly be. My hair, my face, the clothes I wore? I settled on what made sense to me - the fact that I stuttered.
I decided that this boy wouldnโt like me if he got to know me, because then heโd realize that I stuttered, and that was the worst thing about me.โฃ
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I carried this story with me everywhere I went. I grew up with this story.
It loomed over me like a dark cloud.โฃ
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I made every no, every rejection, every side sneer, every negative interaction ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง that I was incapable, unworthy, unintelligent, unlovable - all because I was a person who stuttered.โฃ
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Youโre the same. You have something that you lean towards when youโre not getting your way. You have something that youโve decided makes you unworthy, incapable, unintelligent, unlovable.โฃ
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Your ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ is charged...
I call myself an Imposter Syndrome Expert, but not ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต because I have a psychology-educated background and experience with people who struggle with it.โฃ
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๐๐ญโ๐ฌ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐๐ก, that I know firsthand how feeling like an imposter can affect every part of your life.โฃ
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Each step towards my progress was made anxiously and with negative expectation, waiting for the other shoe to drop. โฃ
Waiting for someone to look at me and go, โYou donโt belong hereโ. โฃ
Waiting for this arbitrary โmomentโ where I would be called out and lose everything.โฃ
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My boundaries were non-existent.โฃ
I was judgemental of others to protect myself. โฃ
I worried about my clientsโ results because I thought it meant something about me. โฃ
I was always feeling scarce even when I started to make money, because I worried it would just ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ธ๐ข๐บ one day.โฃ
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The way to release these scarce thoughts & feelings so your business doesnโt feel like an emotional energy vacuum?โฃ
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๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค. Uncover, release, and rewrite. Bl...
๐๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ๐๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐๐ค๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ฆ.โฃ
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Itโs not something you do when youโre spiralling out of control.โฃ
Itโs not a trendy thing because everyone else is doing it.โฃ
Itโs not a one-way ticket to success because you see all the IG guruโs doing it.โฃ
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Itโs a ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช๐ญ๐บ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ฆ.โฃ
Itโs an ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต.โฃ
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Itโs more than just journaling and lighting some candles.โฃ
Itโs acknowledging the painful shit that comes up.โฃ
Itโs choosing the better thought, over and over again.โฃ
Itโs knowing that things are going to work out, even when it looks like they wonโt.โฃ
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Itโs feeling good and calm and flowy, and still doing your morning routine because you know that itโs what keeps you feeling good and calm and flowy.โฃ
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Itโs feeling safe in your body and safe in your business - and knowing that it takes the ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค to do this.โฃ
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Find more from Coach Jill by goingย HERE!
When you donโt feel good enough, smart enough, or competent enough, you rely on other people to show you the way and help make your decisions - like a coach, a mentor, a parent, etc.โฃ
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And because youโre constantly looking to others for guidance, when it comes time to make a decision for yourselfโฆ.you freeze up. You feel incapable.
You panic, and then you sit in analysis paralysis, hoping that the perfect decision will just come to you.โฃ
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You think youโre learning the ropes, but what youโre really learning is not to trust yourself.โฃ
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Every decision you make sets a path into motion:โฃ
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Maybe you got a degree that you donโt use now, but you met the love of your life in third year.โฃ
Maybe you were in a mastermind where you were disappointed with the content, but you learned what you didnโt want in a coach and it led you to hire the right one next time.โฃ
Maybe you bombed a sales call or got rejected a bunch of times, but it led you to self-awareness & self-mastery.โฃ
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๐๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌโฆ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ๐ฏ๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐...
๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ๐ซ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซโฆโฃ
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The actual process of overcoming imposter syndrome may seem slow at first.โฃ
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Changing your thoughts?โฃ
Cultivating safety & trust in your body?โฃ
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These donโt sound like easy things, do they?โฃ
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Itโs like working out - it doesnโt get easier, you just get stronger.โฃ
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And the benefits? Once you start to notice them, itโs your motivation to keep going.โฃ
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They look like:โฃ
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๐ก Not needing to have all the answers to take action. You know that there is always more to learn and that ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ, you know enough to help somebody and to make an impact.โฃ
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๐ฌย Emotional regulation & self-mastery - this looks like self-awareness out the hoo-ha, and action to match. You process things easier, are less reactive, and sustain habits that help you stay consistent and successful.โฃ
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๐ Boundaries out the hoo-ha, too. Not just with others, but yourself. You take time doing things you enjoy. You prioritize your energy first. You feel less at...
๐๐ก๐๐ญโ๐ฌ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ.โฃ
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Itโs not a disease, or a life sentence. Itโs just a pattern of thoughts that you have continued to think over & over again, because of beliefs that have been misinterpreted from past experiences that youโve given truth to and continued to perpetuate.โฃ
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Suuuper chill, right? ๐คฃโฃ
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But the thing is, youโre ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ with these beliefs. โฃ
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You truly ๐ฅ๐ฐ believe that because of who you are, where you came from, and what you have to offer, youโre unable to achieve what you want to achieve. โฃ
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You truly ๐ฅ๐ฐ believe that youโre faking people out and theyโre going to find out youโre not as intelligent or capable as youโre making it seem.โฃ
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๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ฎ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค, ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ & ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ง.โฃ
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And so is imposter syndrome.โฃ
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It is ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต a dysfunctional thinking pattern. One that is deeply rooted in the beliefs you hold about yourself and the world, buuuuut still ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต a dysfunctional thinking pattern - which means itโs something you can uncover, release, and rewrite....
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