Your Block with Receiving is Because You Think You Don't Deserve Good Things

I used to nod my head religiously when someone would talk about self-care, but I low-key thought it was unnecessary.โฃ
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When my coaches said, โ€œYou deserve to take a breakโ€, I would agree but be thinking in the back of my mind โ€œPfft, I donโ€™t have time for that.โ€โฃ
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When something went wrong in my business or someone said no, Iโ€™d latch onto my negative thoughts and throw myself a pity party, saying shit like โ€œWhy canโ€™t it happen for ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ?!?โ€โฃ
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It was because I believed I wasnโ€™t worthy of receiving.โฃ
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I have always rejected compliments.โฃ
If someone did something for me, I had the immediate urge to repay them.โฃ
I couldnโ€™t take credit for my work or be praised for it (๐˜ค๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ค ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜บ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ).โฃ
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I was also conditioned to believe that women that did things for themselves were selfish - so any type of self-care or self-indulgence I participated in was paired with a thick layer of guilt, meaning I could never enjoy anything.โฃ
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This all came from a place of believing I wasnโ€™t worthy of receiving any kind...

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You Were Taught That Being Mean to Yourself Was Effective

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐š๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐›๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ž๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž.โฃ
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We live in a world of the โ€œjust fucking do itโ€ and the โ€œyou get what you work forโ€ mentality. Discipline was seen as authoritative, that there was a โ€œrightโ€ or โ€œwrongโ€ way to be.โฃ
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You were taught that in order to get the results you wanted, you had to do things you didnโ€™t want to do, but that you were โ€œsupposedโ€ to do.โฃ
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Does the phrase, โ€œYou canโ€™t just do anything you wantโ€ ring a bell?โฃ
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This particular story was one that I had to rewrite for myself.

The story that told me I couldnโ€™t have fun and make money. That it had to be hard. That resting in bed all weekend was bad. That I had to be working on my business 8 hours a day to be successful. That swearing on the internet would make people not like me. That it was rude to talk about how much money Iโ€™ve made.โฃ
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It all stemmed from punishing myself and making myself feel bad for being the way that I was.

And this made me think, โ€œ๐˜ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ...

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The Reason It Takes Time To Get To Your Next Level

The reason why it takes time to get to your next level is NOT because โ€œit just takes timeโ€.โฃ
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๐ˆ๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐š๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ง๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ž๐œ๐ข๐๐ž๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ก๐ฒ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ง๐ž๐ฑ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ.โฃ
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You see your success as a flight of stairs that youโ€™re climbing - it all feels very restricted, rigid, and linear.โฃ
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But it doesnโ€™t have to be this hard. It doesnโ€™t have to take such a long time.โฃ
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Every time you uncover another layer of why you feel unworthy, you remove a heavy brick from the wall of your unworthiness. You acknowledge that part of you, validate that part of you, and release - and you give yourself permission to level up.โฃ
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๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐๐ž๐œ๐ข๐๐ž๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ€™๐ซ๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ก๐ฒ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐œ๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐ญ. And then your second client. And then your first $5K month, and then your first $10K month.โฃ
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๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜ต ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ, ๐˜ช๐˜ตโ€™๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜บ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต.โฃ
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๐ˆ๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐›๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ฏ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ€™๐ซ๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ก๐ฒ ๐จ๐ง ๐š ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐›๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐œ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ญ. Youโ€™ll s...

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3 Reasons You're Self-Sabotaging Your Success

1๏ธโƒฃ You donโ€™t ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ want what you say you want.โฃ

You say you want 10 clients, but do you actually want 10 clients? Subconsciously, you could be resisting your goal because you know you donโ€™t have the time or the resources.

Or maybe you donโ€™t feel good enough, so even though you say you want clients, you actually donโ€™t know what youโ€™d even do with them if you did have clients. โฃ
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2๏ธโƒฃ You donโ€™t feel worthy of what you want.โฃ
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You have a goal to make $100K in your business this year - and even though so many people in this space have done that, you donโ€™t think that you can achieve that based on what you think & feel about yourself.โฃ
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3๏ธโƒฃ You subconsciously think the thing you want will make you uncomfortable or it will be difficult.โฃ
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And then if you have to be uncomfortable or the tasks to get to your goal are perceived as โ€œdifficultโ€, youโ€™re afraid that those negative feelings will lead you down the shame spiral or make you feel bad, so you avoid, avoid, avoid, even when you say you want...

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This Is What I Call The Other Shoe Effect

This Is What I Call The Other Shoe Effectย ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ

When youโ€™re subconsciously pushing away good-feeling experiences in your business because when you feel good, your internal alarm goes off, letting you know that something bad might happen.

So you subconsciously push away success or feeling good, because youโ€™re worried that something bad has to happen as a result of your happiness.

This might look like - not celebrating after a good launch or signing a client, feeling the need to overwork and โ€œdoโ€ more when things are feeling calm + easy, or spending more money than youโ€™re making once you start hitting higher months!

Itโ€™s important to remember that your brain is always trying to keep you safe. Itโ€™s job is to scope out danger when thereโ€™s uncertainty or when your โ€œguard is downโ€.

Work on proving old stories wrong, consistently grounding yourself and your body, and practicing better feeling thoughts that wonโ€™t take you down the shame spiral ๐Ÿค

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Find more from Coach Jill by goingย HERE!

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Do You Think That Your Biggest Insecurity Is Why You're Not Good Enough?

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐š๐›๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐›๐ข๐ ๐ ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ž๐œ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ€™๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ž๐ง๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก.โฃ
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Why you should hold back, and play small.โฃ
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Why someone wouldnโ€™t want to buy from you.โฃ
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๐€๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ€™๐ ๐›๐ž ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ.โฃ
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Because this is the meaning youโ€™re giving your story. And because you whole-heartedly believe this, you hide. You donโ€™t talk about your services how you wish you could. You donโ€™t have boundaries with yourself or your audience/clients.โฃ
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Whereas someone with the exact same story as you, could be using it as her hero story. As to WHY sheโ€™s good enough. As to why someone would want to buy from her, because sheโ€™s unapologetically herself and embraces the parts of her that she knows other people can relate to.โฃ
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And sheโ€™d be right, too. Because sheโ€™s choosing for this story to empower her, instead of letting it keep her small.โฃ
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This is why ๐ง๐ž๐ฎ๐ซ๐จ-๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐œ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐  (๐๐‹๐) is so powerful. NLP allows us to access those subconscious stories and beliefs and change the way we feel and think about the...

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Shame Is Your Default Setting

So I don't know about you, but I always get my best ideas while driving!ย 

The other day while driving, I started thinking about being relatable and how I often shareย my real raw experiences with my audience.

So I never want to use really vague examples.

Whenever I'm talking about something, I use my own life and something that I've experienced and that I'm struggling with.

And even if I'm currently struggling with that, I'll be very open and transparent with my clients because I really believe that it is important and people really need to hear that they're not alone.

And that's because shame is our default setting!ย  Shame is whatย we resort to because it was how we were raised.

Aย lot of this generation was raised on shame.

I think about the time where I went to the grocery store with myย family when I was like 8 years old.ย And I stole like one of those tape gum things.

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I took it out of my pocket and showed it to my sister once we got into the car.

I was like look what I did!...

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Comparison Is An Avoidance Tactic

๐‚๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š๐ง ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐š๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ญ๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐œ.โฃ
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And itโ€™s total bull shit.โฃ
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Listen, itโ€™s normal to feel jealous and a little competitive. That โ€œgrass is greenerโ€ type of stuff is inevitable.โฃ
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But if the compulsion to compare is so often for you, that itโ€™s getting in the way of running your business - the empathy I have for you wonโ€™t last long.โฃ
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And thatโ€™s because youโ€™re letting your ego ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ. โฃ
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If you were to really put yourself out there and hear crickets, your ego would be bruised.โฃ


If you were to really not give a f*ck what others were doing or what they thought of you, you could be susceptible to their judgement or their rejection.โฃ
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So itโ€™s easier to compare, itโ€™s easier to focus on whatโ€™s ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต working for you and what ๐˜ช๐˜ด working for them.โฃ
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๐‘๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฉ๐ž๐š๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐š ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž - jealousy about what someone else is doing or what someone else has is your way of saying that you think theyโ€™re happy, and thatโ€™s what you want to be.โฃ
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With your business, youโ€™re seeing what someone else is doing...

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People Pleasing is Self-Sabotage | Imposter Syndrome

Listen to this episode on theย From Imposter to Empoweredย podcast:

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How can people pleasing affect confidence in your business? Yes, I'm talking about people pleasing when it comes to your friends, your family, your significant other, your full time job and how this all translates into your business. Iโ€™m the best recovering people pleaser that you have ever seen. I would ensure that if somebody had something that was going on that would interfere with something I was doing, I would make a room for it always.

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I would stretch myself so thin and I would actually be super resentful about it. Hereโ€™s where the people pleasing tendencies came from. I have gone to therapy and done a lot of work around my worthiness, and what I noticed was that I was people pleasing because I didn't want people to reject me or not love me because I wasn't accommodating to them. I grew up in a family where we all are bent over backwards for each other and I believe that tha...

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