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I had a 1:1 client the other day who has already made 6-figures in her business. During our session, she said โOh Iโm in pajamas right now, Iโve been in pajamas all day, I should be more put together.โ I asked her what she meant by that, and she said that โ6-figure coaches donโt wear pajamas all day.โ And I just thought that was sooo funny. Not in the way that I was laughing at her, but I was laughing at the fact that so many of us come from corporate backgrounds, like this client and we think quitting our jobs and running our own businesses will free us from those chains of restriction and professionalism, and what we make that mean - and really, we bring those things with us. I asked her, โWhat if you were told about how many millionaires sit around in sweatpants all day?โ
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Because the truth is, there are so many entrepreneurs that dress in a very polished and put together way - and th...
I used to nod my head religiously when someone would talk about self-care, but I low-key thought it was unnecessary.โฃ
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When my coaches said, โYou deserve to take a breakโ, I would agree but be thinking in the back of my mind โPfft, I donโt have time for that.โโฃ
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When something went wrong in my business or someone said no, Iโd latch onto my negative thoughts and throw myself a pity party, saying shit like โWhy canโt it happen for ๐ฎ๐ฆ?!?โโฃ
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It was because I believed I wasnโt worthy of receiving.โฃ
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I have always rejected compliments.โฃ
If someone did something for me, I had the immediate urge to repay them.โฃ
I couldnโt take credit for my work or be praised for it (๐ค๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ค ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐บ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ).โฃ
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I was also conditioned to believe that women that did things for themselves were selfish - so any type of self-care or self-indulgence I participated in was paired with a thick layer of guilt, meaning I could never enjoy anything.โฃ
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This all came from a place of believing I wasnโt worthy of receiving any kind...
๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ๐ซ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซโฆโฃ
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The actual process of overcoming imposter syndrome may seem slow at first.โฃ
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Changing your thoughts?โฃ
Cultivating safety & trust in your body?โฃ
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These donโt sound like easy things, do they?โฃ
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Itโs like working out - it doesnโt get easier, you just get stronger.โฃ
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And the benefits? Once you start to notice them, itโs your motivation to keep going.โฃ
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They look like:โฃ
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๐ก Not needing to have all the answers to take action. You know that there is always more to learn and that ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ, you know enough to help somebody and to make an impact.โฃ
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๐ฌย Emotional regulation & self-mastery - this looks like self-awareness out the hoo-ha, and action to match. You process things easier, are less reactive, and sustain habits that help you stay consistent and successful.โฃ
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๐ Boundaries out the hoo-ha, too. Not just with others, but yourself. You take time doing things you enjoy. You prioritize your energy first. You feel less at...
๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ง ๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ญ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐.โฃ
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And itโs total bull shit.โฃ
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Listen, itโs normal to feel jealous and a little competitive. That โgrass is greenerโ type of stuff is inevitable.โฃ
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But if the compulsion to compare is so often for you, that itโs getting in the way of running your business - the empathy I have for you wonโt last long.โฃ
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And thatโs because youโre letting your ego ๐ธ๐ช๐ฏ. โฃ
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If you were to really put yourself out there and hear crickets, your ego would be bruised.โฃ
If you were to really not give a f*ck what others were doing or what they thought of you, you could be susceptible to their judgement or their rejection.โฃ
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So itโs easier to compare, itโs easier to focus on whatโs ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต working for you and what ๐ช๐ด working for them.โฃ
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๐๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ - jealousy about what someone else is doing or what someone else has is your way of saying that you think theyโre happy, and thatโs what you want to be.โฃ
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With your business, youโre seeing what someone else is doing...
Letโs say youโre a Mindset Coach who uses human design in their business.โฃ
โฃIf you grew up around people who used human design often and who thought running a coaching business from social media was the norm, you wouldnโt be constantly questioning if they think what youโre doing online is weird.โฃ
โฃAnd thatโs because your paradigm, which is defined as a pattern of being or a model, is different than what theyโre used to.
And typically, people who arenโt committed to mindset work or personal development arenโt actively changing their paradigm.โฃโฃย
Thereโs nothing wrong with what youโre doing, itโs just ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต from the paradigm that the people around you have used to.โฃย
โฃWhen youโre around people who get what youโre doing, whether thatโs in person or online, itโs less likely youโll question if what youโre doing is ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต or ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ.โฃ
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โฃ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ฆ๐: The value of my services doesnโt change based on whoโs looking at them.โฃ
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So, even if someone from high school is watching your ...
Long story short, this is my hot take:โฃ
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NOPE!ย
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And hereโs why - money doesnโt magically change the course of your thoughts.โฃ
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Letโs say that you think you feel like a fraud because you canโt book a client. You think to yourselfโฆ.โฃ
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โ Iโm not good enough.โฃ
โ It seems like I donโt know what Iโm doing.โฃ
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But then yay, you sign a client! Smooth sailing now, right?! โฃ
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Until the initial excitement wears off, and youโre thinking about your first call or your first project with your new client. You suddenly start to have the same thoughts, because what if you do a job and they donโt like it? What if youโre on the call with them and you donโt know what to say?โฃ
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๐๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐๐ง ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐, ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฌ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ - and beliefs cannot instantly disappear simply from receiving a couple of PayPal notifications ๐โฃ
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If you feel like an imposter and think youโll be cured by someone signing a contract...I can guarantee you, itโs your thoughts...
๐๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ๐งโ๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ ๐ข๐ญ, ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ก.โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
Youโre listening to your inner imposter and telling yourself that youโre not ready.โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
Youโre thinking that once you get:โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โจ That next client that validates how great you areโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โจ That next certificationโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โจ That next big number of Instagram followersโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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You can finally start ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ successful.โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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All the while, there is someone out there who truly needs what you have to offer - and youโre denying them of that, all because your ๐ง๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐ช๐ด ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ.โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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But if youโre really certain about what you want, you have to do it scared.โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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You have to get on the calls, make the sales pitch, put out the content - even when it scares you. Even when itโs tiring. Even when you think no one is watching.โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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So yeah, maybe youโre afraid that taking the risk or going after the thing is going to c...
On the way to Vegas, I was reading Dr. Valerie Youngโs The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, itโs all about Imposter Syndrome. Dr.Young is one of the leading people when it comes to Imposter Syndrome research. She does talks on the subject, and you should take the time to look into her! The book includes a system called the โSeven Defense Mechanismsโ. One of those defense mechanisms is procrastination, which is the topic of todayโs blog!
Iโll be doing a blog post for each of the Seven Defense Mechanisms, so please keep an eye out for those!ย
I feel like weโve all experienced procrastination at one time or another. If you havenโt procrastinated before- thatโs amazing! Good for you! Although I feel students for example are a group of people who tend to have to deal with procrastination frequently, although it isnโt uncommon to also see procrastination creep into your adult life as...
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