I used to nod my head religiously when someone would talk about self-care, but I low-key thought it was unnecessary.
When my coaches said, “You deserve to take a break”, I would agree but be thinking in the back of my mind “Pfft, I don’t have time for that.”
When something went wrong in my business or someone said no, I’d latch onto my negative thoughts and throw myself a pity party, saying shit like “Why can’t it happen for 𝘮𝘦?!?”
It was because I believed I wasn’t worthy of receiving.
I have always rejected compliments.
If someone did something for me, I had the immediate urge to repay them.
I couldn’t take credit for my work or be praised for it (𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘦).
I was also conditioned to believe that women that did things for themselves were selfish - so any type of self-care or self-indulgence I participated in was paired with a thick layer of guilt, meaning I could never enjoy anything.
This all came from a...
𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗼𝗻?
They all become the #WorthyWoman version of themselves, over and over again, to achieve the next goal and the next goal and the next goal.
They have habits and rituals that they stick to.
They actively work on changing the negative voice inside their head to one of empowerment.
They surround themselves with people who get it.
They are always embodying and acting from the highest version of themselves.
These are money-making activities
Your identity, your thoughts, your beliefs - they’re influencing the way you see your business, which affects your behaviour and creates your results.
If your thoughts were a cake, what would the result be when you took it out of the oven?
Your childhood unicorn birthday cake (𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵’𝘥 𝘣𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦)?
Or is it lopsided, messy, and not exactly what you were going for (𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘵’𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘸)?
Belief 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 yields results.
A study was done on a first grade classroom and their teacher. At the beginning of the year, the teacher was told that all of the students were tested, and that 5 of the kids were gifted. At the end of the year, the students were tested again, and those same 5 children had exceptional results.
But the teacher was only 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 that those 5 children tested as gifted in the beginning of the year - they actually tested normal. HOWEVER, at the end of the year, those 5 children actually 𝘥𝘪𝘥 test as gifted.
Why? Because the teacher 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗱 that those 5 children were gifted. She believed in them and treated them as gifted, which yielded high-performing results.
𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁.
Belief in who you are, what you sell, and who you help. Belief that it’s working. Belief that you’re on the track. Belief that you’re already worthy, and the rest will come.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 happens between knowing you’re worthy, and the manifestation, the clients,...
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞.
We live in a world of the “just fucking do it” and the “you get what you work for” mentality. Discipline was seen as authoritative, that there was a “right” or “wrong” way to be.
You were taught that in order to get the results you wanted, you had to do things you didn’t want to do, but that you were “supposed” to do.
Does the phrase, “You can’t just do anything you want” ring a bell?
This particular story was one that I had to rewrite for myself.
The story that told me I couldn’t have fun and make money. That it had to be hard. That resting in bed all weekend was bad. That I had to be working on my business 8 hours a day to be successful. That swearing on the internet would make people not like me. That it was rude to talk about how much money I’ve made.
It all stemmed from punishing myself and making myself feel bad for being the...
I recently had a client ask how she could change the habit of sleeping in, in order to become her highest self.
Instead of giving her tips like creating an evening routine so you go to bed earlier, listening to subliminals while you sleep, rewarding yourself for waking up early - I asked her what the big fucking deal was with sleeping in.
I encouraged her to ask herself what she was making it mean that she was sleeping in. 𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘵: Society tells us that sleeping in is lazy. But is that objectively true?
𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘵: No. Lol
We realized that she actually was a night owl, and was just shaming herself for not doing her work earlier in the day - even though she got plenty of work done when she slept in and worked in the afternoon/evening.
My question to her, and to you, is the same.
𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟?
Your problem is that you’re living under the But’s - But if I let myself sleep in, I won’t get any work done. But I’ve never had that kind of...
This year, on my 29th birthday, my high school sweetheart proposed to me and asked me to be his wife! We’re so excited.
And you should know, I’ve waited foreverrrrr for this moment - we were 15 when we started dating. And about 5 years ago, I really started to wonder when the ring was coming.
It became a running joke in my family (Dustin was super happy about that ), and I would think constantly about what it would be like once we were engaged and could plan our wedding.
I always knew the ring was coming, even when it wasn’t a physical manifestation yet. And when a couple years went by and I saw everyone else getting engaged, married, having kids (𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦!), I started to wonder when it would happen for me.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝! And every little thing over the past 14 years didn’t matter anymore.
Your business is this way, too.
Every investment you’ve made, every task you’ve completed, every late night you’ve spent...
The reason why it takes time to get to your next level is NOT because “it just takes time”.
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥.
You see your success as a flight of stairs that you’re climbing - it all feels very restricted, rigid, and linear.
But it doesn’t have to be this hard. It doesn’t have to take such a long time.
Every time you uncover another layer of why you feel unworthy, you remove a heavy brick from the wall of your unworthiness. You acknowledge that part of you, validate that part of you, and release - and you give yourself permission to level up.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭. And then your second client. And then your first $5K month, and then your first $10K month.
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘵.
𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞...
1 You don’t 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 want what you say you want.
You say you want 10 clients, but do you actually want 10 clients? Subconsciously, you could be resisting your goal because you know you don’t have the time or the resources.
Or maybe you don’t feel good enough, so even though you say you want clients, you actually don’t know what you’d even do with them if you did have clients.
2 You don’t feel worthy of what you want.
You have a goal to make $100K in your business this year - and even though so many people in this space have done that, you don’t think that you can achieve that based on what you think & feel about yourself.
3 You subconsciously think the thing you want will make you uncomfortable or it will be difficult.
And then if you have to be uncomfortable or the tasks to get to your goal are perceived as “difficult”, you’re afraid that those negative feelings will lead you down the shame spiral or make you feel bad, so...
I call myself an Imposter Syndrome Expert, but not 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 because I have a psychology-educated background and experience with people who struggle with it.
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡, that I know firsthand how feeling like an imposter can affect every part of your life.
Each step towards my progress was made anxiously and with negative expectation, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Waiting for someone to look at me and go, “You don’t belong here”.
Waiting for this arbitrary “moment” where I would be called out and lose everything.
My boundaries were non-existent.
I was judgemental of others to protect myself.
I worried about my clients’ results because I thought it meant something about me.
I was always feeling scarce even when I started to make money, because I worried it would just 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 one day.
The way to release these scarce thoughts & feelings so your business doesn’t feel like an emotional energy vacuum?
When you don’t feel good enough, smart enough, or competent enough, you rely on other people to show you the way and help make your decisions - like a coach, a mentor, a parent, etc.
And because you’re constantly looking to others for guidance, when it comes time to make a decision for yourself….you freeze up. You feel incapable.
You panic, and then you sit in analysis paralysis, hoping that the perfect decision will just come to you.
You think you’re learning the ropes, but what you’re really learning is not to trust yourself.
Every decision you make sets a path into motion:
Maybe you got a degree that you don’t use now, but you met the love of your life in third year.
Maybe you were in a mastermind where you were disappointed with the content, but you learned what you didn’t want in a coach and it led you to hire the right one next time.
Maybe you bombed a sales call or got rejected a bunch of times, but it led you to self-awareness &...