Listen to this episode on the From Imposter to Empowered podcast:
Let’s talk about speaking to your soulmate client - speaking their language, and the mindset of being able to do this.
The first thing I want to say is that you are already perfect. Did you know that? You don’t need to flip a switch in how you show up and start talking like a robot when you think about speaking to your soulmate client. Your soulmate client is a human, people! They are just like you. I always say that your soulmate client is usually a couple steps behind you, right? So you don’t need to contort your language, or use big stupid words - just speak like a normal human, okay? And that means you might need to distill your language a bit.
So I made this mistake TWICE in my business - once was in the beginning, when I started my business, and the second was when I started making a lot of money.
In the beginning, I was coming off of my...
I used to nod my head religiously when someone would talk about self-care, but I low-key thought it was unnecessary.
When my coaches said, “You deserve to take a break”, I would agree but be thinking in the back of my mind “Pfft, I don’t have time for that.”
When something went wrong in my business or someone said no, I’d latch onto my negative thoughts and throw myself a pity party, saying shit like “Why can’t it happen for 𝘮𝘦?!?”
It was because I believed I wasn’t worthy of receiving.
I have always rejected compliments.
If someone did something for me, I had the immediate urge to repay them.
I couldn’t take credit for my work or be praised for it (𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘦).
I was also conditioned to believe that women that did things for themselves were selfish - so any type of self-care or self-indulgence I participated in was paired with a thick layer of guilt, meaning I could never enjoy anything.
This all came from a...
Have you ever heard/gotten results for yourself & your clients and still felt like a fraud?
I have to ask - are you fully showing up as yourself?
𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞-𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬-𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧-𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐲𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫. You don’t feel good enough or capable enough, so you mould your personality, your actions, your services & prices, and your IG stories to please the masses, hoping not to be outed or criticized.
You’ve gotten so used to 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 - judgement or criticism or feeling bad, that you present a version of yourself that is not authentic. Because while you’re posting that you’re a bad bitch, you feel like a fraud, think no one cares what you have to say, and that what you’re doing isn’t “working”.
So what do you think will happen when you start to see success? That “fake it til you make it” attitude will become even more anxiousness, worry, and lack of transparency/authenticity - because you believe that...
When you don’t feel good enough, smart enough, or competent enough, you rely on other people to show you the way and help make your decisions - like a coach, a mentor, a parent, etc.
And because you’re constantly looking to others for guidance, when it comes time to make a decision for yourself….you freeze up. You feel incapable.
You panic, and then you sit in analysis paralysis, hoping that the perfect decision will just come to you.
You think you’re learning the ropes, but what you’re really learning is not to trust yourself.
Every decision you make sets a path into motion:
Maybe you got a degree that you don’t use now, but you met the love of your life in third year.
Maybe you were in a mastermind where you were disappointed with the content, but you learned what you didn’t want in a coach and it led you to hire the right one next time.
Maybe you bombed a sales call or got rejected a bunch of times, but it led you to self-awareness &...
𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫…
The actual process of overcoming imposter syndrome may seem slow at first.
Changing your thoughts?
Cultivating safety & trust in your body?
These don’t sound like easy things, do they?
It’s like working out - it doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger.
And the benefits? Once you start to notice them, it’s your motivation to keep going.
They look like:
Not needing to have all the answers to take action. You know that there is always more to learn and that 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, you know enough to help somebody and to make an impact.
Emotional regulation & self-mastery - this looks like self-awareness out the hoo-ha, and action to match. You process things easier, are less reactive, and sustain habits that help you stay consistent and successful.
Boundaries out the hoo-ha, too. Not just with others, but yourself. You take time doing things you enjoy. You prioritize your...
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬.
It’s not a disease, or a life sentence. It’s just a pattern of thoughts that you have continued to think over & over again, because of beliefs that have been misinterpreted from past experiences that you’ve given truth to and continued to perpetuate.
Suuuper chill, right?
But the thing is, you’re 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 with these beliefs.
You truly 𝘥𝘰 believe that because of who you are, where you came from, and what you have to offer, you’re unable to achieve what you want to achieve.
You truly 𝘥𝘰 believe that you’re faking people out and they’re going to find out you’re not as intelligent or capable as you’re making it seem.
𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 & 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.
And so is imposter syndrome.
It is 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 a dysfunctional thinking pattern. One that is deeply rooted in the beliefs you hold about yourself and the world, buuuuut still 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 a dysfunctional thinking pattern - which means...
Hey MTV , welcome to my crib (𝘈𝘒𝘈 this blog), where we talk a lot about symptoms of experiencing imposter syndrome….
But on this fine Friday, I wanted to shed light on the good shit that you may be experiencing because you’re doing the werk so, here are 4 ways that you’re overcoming imposter syndrome:
Someone says "no" to your offer and it doesn't ruin your day.
Sometimes, a no means not right now or not this offer. Also, just because an offer isn’t right for one person, doesn’t mean it’s not perfect for another. You are someone’s sparkly unicorn.
You don't feel the need to over-prepare for guest speaking gigs or coaching calls.
Of course, if you do better with notes, that’s totally okay - but you know your shit, and people usually want to hear what YOU think about your shit - so own that shit
You easily detach from your client's actions, because you know you're doing your best to help them and they have to do the work, too.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡.
You’re listening to your inner imposter and telling yourself that you’re not ready.
You’re thinking that once you get:
That next client that validates how great you are
That next certification
That next big number of Instagram followers
You can finally start 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 successful.
All the while, there is someone out there who truly needs what you have to offer - and you’re denying them of that, all because your 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
But if you’re really certain about what you want, you have to do it scared.
You have to get on the calls, make the sales pitch, put out the content - even when it scares you. Even when it’s tiring. Even when you think no one is watching.
So yeah, maybe you’re afraid that taking the risk or going after the thing is going to cost you.
What’s it costing you to 𝘯𝘰𝘵?
Find more from Coach Jill by going HERE!...
Listen to this episode on the From Imposter to Empowered podcast:
Imposter Syndrome can creep up in what seems like a million different ways, you can really feel like you’re on the struggle bus because there are so many ways it can show up in your life.
One of the ways it’s come through for me in the past was when I was trying to work on content. Content being the topics I’d want to talk about, the posts I’d want to make for social media, podcasts, etc. I would always think that the content I was putting out into the world was unoriginal, and that someone else had said all this before. It would go hand in hand with the fear that someone would call me out on a topic I spoke about because it wasn’t 100% my own. It made me fearful that my community would reject me.
It made me hold back some ideas that I had about a concept I would come across. I would see how it would apply to me but then I would never go through...
On the way to Vegas, I was reading Dr. Valerie Young’s The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, it’s all about Imposter Syndrome. Dr.Young is one of the leading people when it comes to Imposter Syndrome research. She does talks on the subject, and you should take the time to look into her! The book includes a system called the “Seven Defense Mechanisms”. One of those defense mechanisms is procrastination, which is the topic of today’s blog!
I’ll be doing a blog post for each of the Seven Defense Mechanisms, so please keep an eye out for those!
I feel like we’ve all experienced procrastination at one time or another. If you haven’t procrastinated before- that’s amazing! Good for you! Although I feel students for example are a group of people who tend to have to deal with procrastination frequently, although it...