Why You Feel Nervous Before Coaching Calls | Imposter Syndrome

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So today we are talking about that anxiety that you may have before a coaching call. Now, this can also be applied to any type of service-based entrepreneur. So let's say you're VA and you're looking for, um, people who may potentially need your services or you're on Instagram or you're talking to people. I actually had an NLP breakthrough session client who was talking about how she would actually look at people and think, Oh, like I already don't want to work with them. And she couldn't figure out why. And the same thing goes for when you're so fucking pumped to be a coach or you're so excited to do the damn thing. And you start to get that anxiety or weird. I don't want to do this energy when you actually have to perform and by perform, I mean, get on coaching calls or pitch your services or whatever.


This also came up for one of my clients who took like a really long needed break. So she took a break and, um, she was so ready to go, raring to go when we started up again, but she was feeling a lot of anxiety once we started to get into


"Okay, now let's talk about your offers. Let's talk about pitching and selling. Let's get into this". She was feeling a lot of anxiety again and kind of those feelings of I'm not good enough. And this anxiety is your imposter syndrome. This anxiety is you pushing your clients away or are you pushing potential clients away.


I don't know if you guys have ever heard my story about when,  somebody came to me and they were an ideal client and I referred her to somebody else. That was my own anxiety that was coming through because I didn't feel adequate or enough or good enough as a coach. I was like, Oh my God, this person is going to expect me to show up and like rock their fucking world. And I'm so nervous. I don't know what to say.


This actually followed me to when I was really heavy into my one-on-one. So I might do a podcast episode about like my story or my journey as a coach because I basically did the quantum leap. I literally made a thousand dollars, I think in March and now I'm making 17 to 20K a month and it happened so fast within the span of like four months.


I don't want to thank COVID because that would be really insensitive. But honestly, COVID has allowed me to work from home for my job. So it's honestly been a really eyeopening experience for me because I am able to do this. I can make money at this. And I think there was always kind of the inkling where I wasn't sure if I could sustain it, hence why I was in my full-time job, which I still am in.


Long story short, when I started to actually have a full roster of one to one clients when it wasn't just one client here, one client here or whatever. When I had a full roster, I was getting this really anxious sinking feeling before getting on my calls and the same with the NLP sessions, which I fucking love, they're always transformative. They're always amazing. But I would be so nervous before them.


I'd be like, Oh fuck, I don't want to do this. I'd be on the couch with Dustin saying, I don't want it to do this. And he'd ask, why? And I'd just say, I don't know. I just don't want to do it. And it was my own imposter syndrome. It was fucking Rhonda coming out of the woodwork and saying like, Oh, you know, they're going to figure it out. They're going to figure out that once you get on that call, you actually don't have anything substantial to say, and you're not going to be able to perform the way you want and they're going to be disappointed. And that's why I kind of want to talk about this topic because I've heard it from multiple people, but you may be too ashamed to talk about it. I have had a couple of clients who have told me this and they kind of like light up when I say it.


They often say, "Oh my God, Oh my God, I'm not crazy, I actually don't hate my job; I actually do want to be a coach or I do want to do this, or I do want to do that". And I say, yes, of course, you do. This is your passion, this is what you want to do. The anxiety is just your imposter syndrome. The anxiety is the thoughts that are coming into your head of being like, you're not going to be good enough.


If you listen to those thoughts, you'll start taking the actions. That would mean that maybe you are subconsciously pushing these clients away. Or maybe you're not really focusing on the client during the call. You're focusing on how can I impress this client and they're not going to get the same impact. And therefore, you're going to be like, Oh my God, I'm not good enough.


And then go down the spiral. But what was really helpful for me was just doing the damn thing and getting on the call was resetting my energy, doing some EFT, Sageing the fuck out of the office. And really focusing on this is for my client. This client is going to get an amazing result. Your intention behind everything is what matters. And even if you're feeling kind of like, Oh, I don't want to do this.

Reset yourself. And think to yourself, this is for the client. This client is going to get an amazing result. I am going to facilitate an amazing transformation for this client and you can't go wrong. Because when we set the intention, when we have the positive expectancy of something happening that is going to be good, that energy radiates off of you and you are going to do something amazing for your client, no matter what it is.


You also can't determine what your client actually needs until you are putting all of your focus on them. If I was always thinking to myself, I'm not good enough, blah, blah, blah. That shit is going to come through in my coaching calls. But instead, I focus on the questioning. I trust the process. I trust that whatever comes out is going to be something that the client really needs at that moment. And that's why I'm not a fan of really regimented or thought out programs when it comes to your coaching.


If you're a coach because you are a person that is helping somebody else in their own journey and you don't actually know what they're going to need until you calibrate on them until you figure out what it is that they need to be served with. And that can be anxiety-inducing in itself in terms of being like, so I'm just going to show up on the call and be like, Hey, what are we going to talk about? I always have kind of a plan. I look back on my notes stuff I want to talk about before, but it's really about holding space for your client. And that's what they're paying you for. They're paying you for the guided questions, the empowerment, the holding space depending on what kind of coach you are, of course.


So if they have really specific questions and stuff, and obviously having the knowledge to answer those, but a lot of the time I have mindset coaches that come to me and they're just like, how do I know what makes me special? How do I know how I'm going to help them? And it's all in how you show up for them and how you show up with your own energy. 


So something that I learned in terms of holding onto your energy, and I'm actually coming out with an energy management bundle soon. I'm really excited about it. But one of these tricks that you can do is zip yourself up before your sessions. Actually the act of zipping yourself up is really cool because there's a physical component to feeling like you are contracting yourself and holding that space for yourself and closing anything up. So you're not exposing your energy to other people so you can Google it. I'm not a, I'm not a fucking guru when it comes to this stuff, but you can totally Google the act of zipping yourself up. And I do that before every call. I also have this course from Reese, from YesSupply, through the certification.


And she has a meditation where you can actually create a protective bubble almost around you. And I do that usually too before any NLP session. And before my coaching calls, and again, there's a lot of different energetic modalities you can use to kind of protect your energy. But I think that it's really important to note that if you feel tired if you feel drained if you feel like you're kind of moody or like a low vibe or whatever it is, it could be because your clients are draining your energy, which isn't a bad thing.


You're coaching them. You're doing all the things you should be doing as a coach, but know that if you let it get to the point where like, you're not conserving your energy, you're not looking after yourself. Then you're going to have more of those anxious thoughts. Those I'm not good enough thoughts, but because you're going to have a very low vibration. 


So with that being said, regarding the actual anxiety behind your client calls or being nervous about your client calls, it is just that inner imposter that Rhonda or whoever she is for you telling you that you're not good enough telling you that this is going to be difficult, that you're not going to be able to say what you want to say, or you're not going to be able to get through to them, or they're going to be a difficult client, whatever it is, it is just your brain trying to keep you safe. It's your brain trying to tell you that, whatever you say, isn't good enough, and this isn't going to be good and blah, blah, blah, just your brain trying to keep you safe because performing public speaking, you're basically public speaking all week if you have calls like the whole time, or if you do guest speaking or whatever that is draining your energy, and it is scary, it's putting yourself out there. It's constantly pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. 


We all think it's like the hardest thing in the world to get clients. When in reality, the hard part is when you actually start doing it, the hard part is when you actually have to start putting yourself out there and being like, Hey, like let's actually create this transformation that I've been talking about for the last two weeks during my launch. Do you know what I mean? So, um, it's really important to know that you are not a fraud. You are not an imposter. You are doing your best with the information that you have right now. And that anxiety is just your brain trying to keep you safe, trying to keep you in your small bubble of, let's not actually take any legitimate action towards your goals, because if you do, then you might be exposed or whatever.


And that is just not going to happen. You are a real, authentic, genuine human being. You are here to change lives and you cannot do that unless you put yourself out there and actually do the damn thing. Even when sometimes you feel like you don't want to. And that's why we have amazing resources like emotional freedom techniques like tapping and we have energy clearing techniques and all the really amazing things that will help you reset your energy, raise your vibe, make you feel really, really good. And that's why it's so important to keep an accomplishment journal because then you can look back and all the amazing things you've done and the lives you've changed. And yeah, I think that's it. I think that's all. If you guys have any more questions about getting rid of that anxiety or talking it through or whatever, you can DM me on Instagram @yourcoachjill, and I'll talk to you guys later, don't forget about the, from imposter to empowered course, which you can get 15% off of at the link in my show notes, using the coupon code FITEPODCAST.



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