Listen to this episode on the From Imposter to Empowered podcast:
This podcast episode was inspired by a conversation with a 1:1 client that I thought was so good and juicy, you guys needed to hear this message, too.
So she dropped into What’s App one day, and was talking about her attraction marketing strategy and how she feels like her desperate or lack mentality is not going to attract clients to her. And when we pulled the threads at her lack and scarcity mentality, what we found was so interesting to me - but definitely not uncommon. You see, my client is as safe as can be. She has the support she needs, she has the money she needs, her bills are paid, she has a home, she’s got clients in her business - she is safe. But despite being safe with her money, she has this feeling of desperation, lack, and scarcity that she is creating through her thoughts of needing more clients, more success, just more in general when it comes to her business.
And this is something I used to experience as well, and why I wanted to share this with you is because I believe so many of you can relate. As you know, I talk a lot about the subconscious mind, and how our brains are like computers - we run programs and patterns that we develop at a young age, so our brain doesn’t have to work as hard when introduced to new information. We operate in the same way, no matter what the circumstance; unless we change the programming and choose to think and believe differently, which is what coaching is all about - changing your mind, and therefore changing your perspective and your response to what’s happening, therefore changing your results.
My client had an automatic program of scarcity and lack - so even when she wasn’t in danger, even when she has everything she technically needs - the only way she believes she can create more of something is by needing it, and needing requires there to be a lack of something. Therefore, creating desperate energy of “I really need a new client”, just because the actual threat of danger or lack of resources isn’t there, the program or pattern still remains, so it finds something to latch onto. Is this making sense? And it is all coming from - I cannot have this thing, unless it is a NEED. And her association to need are not good feelings, they are scarcity and lack and desperation.
This kind of thinking comes from believing that in order to have or create something, you HAVE to do it - there’s pressure to do it. I think about so many entrepreneurs that can only create money when it’s from need-to energy, and they think they need to hustle and grind to make it happen, or they need to be miserable to make it happen - but you’re really just fulfilling your programming, playing out a pattern that your brain and body are familiar with.
When I coached my client in What’s App, and by the way, this is the kind of stuff we do all day inside of 1:1 coaching - not only do you have me on calls, where I break your brain with reprogramming and shifting beliefs and aligned business strategies, but you also get support from me outside of our calls where we have these conversations to truly start acting as if and changing your life, outside of our weekly calls. So I coached my client on operating out of WANT and DESIRE - because truly, her brain just never saw that as an option before. What would it be like if you didn’t NEED clients, but you DESIRED them? Does it change your entire worldview for you to operate out of desire and wanting instead of what you think you NEED? And scarcity or lack? What stories do you have around what you’re allowed to desire, what you’re allowed to want?
I think about myself - I would always tell myself the story that I didn’t know what I wanted, and I waited for others to tell me what I wanted because I didn’t trust myself or believe that I even knew what I wanted. So I would outsource my own damn desires, and then be frustrated when I never felt satisfied. It wasn’t until I got really real with myself on what I wanted that I began to change my own relationship to wanting and desire. It felt bad and wrong to want something just because I wanted it. It felt like I didn’t deserve something if the only reason I received it was because “I wanted to”. There was so much worthiness stuff in there I had to unpack! I truly had to change my relationship to wanting and desire. Scarcity, lack, need, and desperation, like my client, were programs and patterns that I always ran, because they were the only patterns I knew how to operate out of. When I became awakened to a different way of being and seeing, I began to play in - what would happen if I just wanted $10K months? What if I wanted thousands of dollars in the bank? Being led by desire is so fucking powerful.
You CAN operate out of desire and wanting. You don’t need to operate out of need or scarcity or lack. You can decide that you’re safe and protected and okay, and then from there, you can operate out of “what do I want to create”? What do I desire to create? This might feel bad or wrong or like you’re greedy or selfish or not good enough - and THAT is where your work is. Challenge the stories and the beliefs that lead you to believe that YOU can’t operate out of want or desire, or that it’s not enough.
You no longer need to create from need or lack or desperation - but be kind to yourself if you fall back into that habit, because it’s a program and a pattern - it will take you shifting back into want and desire, over and over again!
If you’re wanting to shift your identity from lack to desire, if you’re wanting to consciously create a life and business you love, to be booked out and sought after and to feel worthy of it all, apply now to 1:1 coaching HERE!! 3 months of 1:1 coaching and What’s App messaging access, 3 months of you and me f*cking shit up and change your life. See you!