How to Actually Become Your Highest Self

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A KEY element we are working within my group coaching container - the From Impostor to Empowered (FITE) Program, is your most worthy, highest self. People say the next level self, highest self; I call her your worthy woman identity, whatever you call it - it is that highest version of you. The elevated version of you that has what you want, who you want to be, and embodies the thoughts, habits, behaviors, and actions that you imagine you’d embody if you were the best version of yourself. 


Highest self work is so freakin’ potent and fun to play with, because if you do it right, you will inevitably become that highest and best version of yourself over time. But how do you actually begin this process? How do you actually start becoming that highest and best version of yourself?


So for one, the reason why we do highest self work is because:


1) It is the quickest route to creating the results you want; and

2) It means that there is a reality where you already have everything you want.


If you are craving external results like a profitable coaching business, an overflow of money, a booked out client roster - you have to:


a) believe that attaining those things for yourself are possible, and

b) realize that there is a version of you that has those things - and that is the biggest and most important part about creating a completely different reality for yourself.


The YOU, that has everything you want is different than the YOU - you are right now. Different in her beliefs, her thoughts, and the action she takes. You are always creating your reality, and not in a shame-y way - but who you are right now is what created the reality you live in. So in order to create different results, it requires you to be different as well.


I think back to myself in 2018 when I started my business - I had no confidence or self-worth, I carried myself very differently, and I didn’t trust myself with money. These are all things I had to think of and change my belief systems around in order to have everything that I have today - a successful business, belief in myself, and trusting myself with large amounts of money. Yeah, I had to take the action to create all of this - but I had to take that action from a higher version of myself that believed I was worthy and good enough.


It’s almost like an alter ego, right? If you have a hard time believing that you can be your highest self right now, it’s always good to think of her as just a different version of you, and slide into that version of you when you need to - like before you show up to sell, on a sales call, at a networking event, and etc. Because really - your highest self is just you with different thoughts. It doesn’t have to be anything big or scary or completely different from you. 


I was in a mastermind once where the coach had us write out our dream lives - like I’m talking highest of the highest. And that was super fun and exciting, but I had no connection to that version of myself. I didn’t even know where to start. Highest self work for me has always been better when I have a bridge between who I am right now and who I’m becoming. So that’s another thing - you need to think of your highest self as just you right now who thinks differently. I think about my day to day life of getting up, doing my mindset routine, watching the Kardashians, suntanning outside on my deck in the summer, grabbing Starbucks, taking client calls - I’m doing that right now, at $300,000 version of me, and you know what? I’ll be doing it at $350,000, $400,000, even $500,000 of me. My actual day to day won’t change, but what thoughts will I be having? What moves will I be making? You know? When clients ask how they actually be their highest selves, it always comes down to what thoughts would you have? How would you feel? And if they don’t think those things or feel those things now - how can I start? What beliefs do I need to release, what beliefs do I need to step into in order to think and feel those things now? 


I teach a simple but effective belief changing process in the FITE Program that has helped my clients and I completely change how we see ourselves and how we show up in our businesses. How you see yourself and who you believe you are is the foundation that your marketing and sales are built upon. If you think you’re a bad bitch, guess what? So will your audience.


A part of this belief changing process I teach in The FITE Program covers secondary gain - which is a neurolinguistic programming term to describe a purposeful attachment. With belief work, secondary gain means that you are getting something out of the current identity / belief that you are upholding. For example - for the longest time, I would ask my dad for financial advice, because I grew up telling myself I was bad at math and bad at managing my money - and actually, my dad had said numerous times I wasn’t good with math and always wanted to know about my business numbers, asking too many questions and giving his opinions. A new identity I was moving into in 2020 when I started making a lot of money was trusting myself with managing my own money and seeking out resources that I decided would help me with managing it, instead of talking to my dad about it. But when assessing my new identity using the secondary gain exercise in my belief changing process, I realized that a part of me clung to my old identity because I know it made my dad feel important and it was a part of our relationship for me to ask him for advice. A subconscious part of me didn’t want me to let this go, because I was getting something from my old identity - so why would I try to become something different? If you’re feeling stuck with your own highest self work, assessing for secondary gain will probably bring up sooo much that you were unconsciously aware of that was blocking your ability to actually step into that new identity.


Becoming your highest self is a process. It is changing the little things, like thoughts you have, your habits and behaviors, and how you view yourself and your future. 


Something that I made a small change to in my business processes, for example, are writing scripts for these episodes. Before, I completely riffed, which is still amazing and something I do in Jill’s Journal - but I had an intention to bring more awareness, education, information, and organization to the podcast - and this level of preparation allows me to help you guys even more than if I just shot off my mouth for half an hour. I’m also a rambler, and that’s great for Jills Journal - but I wanted to make sure that you guys were getting the most value out of these episodes. So this version of myself takes time every month to write out scripts, when before I would have just winged it! A very small personal habit I started doing last year was to drink a big glass of water during my mindset routine in the morning. I always forget to drink water and it tastes sooo boring to me, but I always get headaches and I know how important it is to be hydrated, so I paired my morning water with my mindset routine. I also increased the size of my glass of water over time as well. Again, this is a very small habit, but one that I incorporated into my routine that is consistent with a highest self behaviour, something we work on in the FITE Program too. 


Again, the whole reason why we want to become our highest selves is to create the lives that we want - and in order to create the life we want, we also need to be consciously creating the person who has those things - because if you were already that person, you’d already have the things you want.


Not from a bad, shame-y place, again - you are already worthy, you are already good enough - and because you already are worthy, you can lean into that highest self and take it a step further by truly embodying her in order to create the next level of results you’re achieving. 


Because truly - it is an everyday, thoughtful, and conscious shift to make when you are making decisions from your highest self. I always ask my clients to do this when it comes to business. Like when you make an investment out of scarcity and lack, it almost never works out the way you want it to. But I want my clients to be empowered in making this decision for themselves. I want them to invest from a place of “I can do this, I deserve this, this is going to expand me into my potential”, not from a place of “I need this to save me”. So do that now - close your eyes, unless you’re driving, and take a big deep breath, asking yourself if you’ve felt led to work with me - what would my highest self do? What would she say? Where can she see my potential and capabilities that my current self can’t? From that place, you can truly do, be, and create anything. 


Are you ready to become a completely different person in just 3 months? Are you ready to confidently sign clients and have the profitable coaching business you’ve always dreamt of? Is imposter syndrome, the fear of judgment, the fear of failure, comparison, not feeling like an expert, and a million other mindset blocks getting in the way of doing just that? If you’re looking to take this work deeper with me, I have 1:1 coaching spots available for 3 months. Apply for 1:1 coaching HERE now.


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