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So today's episode is actually something that I found in my notes. I was like, what am I going to talk about this month? And I came across, "does finally making money make you feel less like an imposter".
I wanted to create a conversation around this because usually when it comes to exchanging our services for money, we feel like that means that it's legit. That means that it's real for me. I kept feeling in the beginning that my business wasn't real until I started making money. It didn't help reading stuff from somebody who was pretty prominent in the industry saying, "you're not running a business if you're not making money". And I really revolted against that, probably because I took it very personally, but also because I was reading it and like thinking to myself that, wow, I guess I'm not running a business then, which just perpetuated my own feelings of imposter syndrome. But here is why I don't think you need to be making money to overcome your imposter syndrome. And it's because you can have the same thoughts and the same feelings and still be making money.
There are so many people who I have worked with who are making pretty bomb ass money in their business and still feel like they're faking people out. I don't think it stops you from feeling less like an imposter. I think it helps in terms of making you feel like your business is legit, but if you genuinely feel that people are gonna find you out, them paying you money is not going to change that. To put it very simply, and as you guys know, your thoughts create your feelings.
So even if you are getting paid for something, you may have negative thoughts like "this person paid me way too much than what I'm worth", "what if I can't deliver, they're going to find out that this is actually just a crock of shit". It'll actually create more stress for you. It then contributes to you not pricing your services appropriately or not getting paid well for whatever you're doing. And again, does finally making money make you feel less like an imposter? I think it doesn't because you could be getting paid tons of money and if your thoughts and your feelings are still those self-sabotaging mean-girl-inner-critic, you're going to have the same feelings. Here's an example: Somebody who I know is a speaker and she did a speaking engagement and they paid her $2,000 for it, which was a lot. It was one of her first times doing a speaking engagement and she was like, "Oh my God, am I even worth that? And now I feel like I have to overdeliver". She was having a lot of imposter syndrome feelings come up, even though she was paid in full. And you may be rolling your eyes thinking well, Jill, once people start paying me, then I'll start to feel that I know what I'm doing. But again, you're thinking that once you have a certain circumstance that you're going to feel a certain way, but that feeling a certain way starts now. That feeling a certain way starts with the thoughts that you're having about yourself. It is way more productive for you to have a thought of, "I know that I'm capable and competent and that I can help this person put out whatever service, offer or launch that they're doing".
And then when somebody confirms that they want to work with you, you feel good. You feel excited. If you're having thoughts of, "I'm going to put this service out and I don't really know if I'm competent or capable, but I'm just going to do it anyways", and then somebody is interested, you're going to think SHIT, I still don't feel capable or competent... but somebody is still interested. So maybe I am... and then it's contingent on that person's validation. It's so much easier said than done to give ourselves that compassion and give ourselves that confidence boost. But once you start focusing on the thoughts that you're having and monitoring those thoughts and flipping them, you'll be better off.
First of all, I want you to challenge those feelings that you're having. Are they stories that are true? And two, I want you to flip the script. What would the opposite of that belief be? What would the opposite of that thought be? If you truly did think that you are capable and competent, what would you say to yourself? If you knew that you were capable and competent, what are the feelings you would have if you knew that you were capable and competent? This is a really good thing to do in NLP - it's called single belief change. It helps you change your belief that you have that may not be self-serving or could be negative to something that is self serving, that is actually positive.
I have seen this in so many clients... single belief change has changed the way that they truly think. And again, this is just the amazingness of NLP. I am doing 90 minute sessions, and I want to help you change your life with regards to a single belief change or helping you really change your mind about the fact that you don't feel capable and you don't feel competent.
Honestly, I did not feel any more capable or competent when I started making money. It was when I really started to change my thought patterns and interrupt those thoughts, challenged them with, "is this a true story, or is it just a story that I'm telling myself and it's not true", and then flipping the script on those stories and consistently interrupting myself with positivity. And if it helps for you to journal, say it out loud, or send a note to your coach or whatever works, do that. I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your day.
Thanks so much for listening to the, from imposter to empowered podcast with me, Jillian Parekh. If you loved this episode, take a screenshot and share it on your Instagram story. And don't forget to tag me at @yourcoachjill. Of course, I'd love for you to rate the podcast five stars and leave a review. And if you screenshot your review and send it to me at your code show on Instagram, I'll send you a free gift at the very least. Make sure you follow me on Instagram again for tons of free content strategies and inspo. See you next time.
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