Listen to this episode on the From Imposter to Empowered podcast:
So today's episode is going to be quite short, but it came up for me, especially because in this time in my life. I have found that balancing a full time job and being an entrepreneur on the side is very challenging. We're just going to jump right into it by the way, getting deep already. What came up for me was that I am constantly having to be productive and this is also related to some anxiety issues that I have in terms of feeling like my value in my worthiness is based on my doing.
I spend very little time just being, relaxing and just being okay with wherever I am, because I always feel like there's a future goal to achieve, or there's some world of success that I am not a part of yet, and that I just need to work as hard as I can to get to that place.. But that place doesn't exist.
I really wanted to talk about being okay with being where you're at and understanding that your worthiness is not something that ebbs and flows. It is something that just is, and that can be hard to admit to yourself that you're just as worthy sitting on the couch, watching Netflix all day, as you are spending the whole day in Starbucks creating content. There is no difference between your worthiness on either day because we all need rest and time to relax and rejuvenate
Worthiness does not come from our doing, it comes from just being who we are. I talked about this a little bit in my one-to-one coaching program, but as children, you are seen as worthy just as you are. So when you see a baby, you don't think wow that that baby really needs to do some pushups or to start a business in order for me to think that she's legit. No you just see the baby and you know that they're worthy of love, attention and care just because they are. So why does that change as we get older? Why do we believe that we need to be doing something or we need to be a certain way in order to receive love and validation? All that means is that we focus a lot on external validation. We have to look inwards and be good enough for ourselves in any form.
What can get us caught up in this worthiness game is comparison. So seeing another business owner or seeing what another coach is doing in the online space can make us think "I'm not doing that, that makes me less capable, less intelligent, less able to connect with ideal clients". I just want to remind you that again, your worthiness does not come from what you do. It just is... it is just a state of who you are. You are worthy because you are a living, breathing, human being - and you are a human being, not a human doing. You are worthy just because you are, because you're a person who deserves love, deserves attention, deserves everything that you desire. You believing that you're not is really doing yourself a disservice because you're teaching people how to treat you and you're also sabotaging your own success.
There's always something to do when you're an entrepreneur. There's always another task that you could probably be doing at this moment. But by not taking that time by relaxing and unplugging, by not taking a minute to really connect back to yourself and connect back to the whole reason why you’re doing this, it will result in BURNOUT.
The thing is, I had to remember that I am worthy, even if I spent a whole weekend unplugging and not looking at my social media. I have to remember that when I get back on social media all my followers will still be there. I will still be seen as an expert in imposter syndrome. We have these really irrational fears that if we unplug for a day, we're going to come back and have no followers. If we don't go on Instagram stories for a day, people are going to think that we're not an authority in our niche. I feel like this is a very masculine way to handle emotions. In terms of the masculine thinking that you always need to do, instead of just be. One of the things that I found is there are a lot of business coaches online who are say you need to be on Instagram stories every single day and even though yes, there is a time , there is a season for you to be on Instagram stories every day. Sometimes you just don't fucking want to be, and you can deliver just as much value in being on them every other day people aren't going to forget about you.
I need you to know that you are worthy just because you are and everything is coming to you in divine timing. Remember you’re in no rush! Everything you're trying to do will be 10 times harder if you're burnt the fuck out, if you're tired or if you have no motivation because you won't let your mind take a break. So make sure you're resting and make sure you are scheduling in time for you and your life outside of your business.
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