I call myself an Imposter Syndrome Expert, but not 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 because I have a psychology-educated background and experience with people who struggle with it.
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡, that I know firsthand how feeling like an imposter can affect every part of your life.
Each step towards my progress was made anxiously and with negative expectation, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Waiting for someone to look at me and go, “You don’t belong here”.
Waiting for this arbitrary “moment” where I would be called out and lose everything.
My boundaries were non-existent.
I was judgemental of others to protect myself.
I worried about my clients’ results because I thought it meant something about me.
I was always feeling scarce even when I started to make money, because I worried it would just 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 one day.
The way to release these scarce thoughts & feelings so your business doesn’t feel like an emotional energy vacuum?
𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐦.
It’s not something you do when you’re spiralling out of control.
It’s not a trendy thing because everyone else is doing it.
It’s not a one-way ticket to success because you see all the IG guru’s doing it.
It’s a 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦.
It’s an 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵.
It’s more than just journaling and lighting some candles.
It’s acknowledging the painful shit that comes up.
It’s choosing the better thought, over and over again.
It’s knowing that things are going to work out, even when it looks like they won’t.
It’s feeling good and calm and flowy, and still doing your morning routine because you know that it’s what keeps you feeling good and calm and flowy.
It’s feeling safe in your body and safe in your business - and knowing that it takes the 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 to do this.
Find more from Coach Jill by going HERE!
You’ve always felt 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.
Your opinions didn’t feel legitimate until they were validated by someone else.
Your ideas were kept secret because you thought they were stupid.
Your feelings felt unwarranted because you thought you had “no right” to feel that way.
You’re always looking for the right thing → the right decision, the right path, the right message.
Did it ever occur to you that the answer is to fully fucking accept yourself for who you are and then go from there?
The problem isn’t that you’re wrong. The problem is you’re making everything about you 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
You’re allowed to be here.
You’re allowed to take up space.
You’re allowed to have your juicy, exciting ideas.
You created your business to break free of the very thing you’re letting stand in your way - an employee mindset that follows the rules, constantly looks for guidance & validation, and believes that everything is...
When I’ve asked more seasoned entrepreneurs what they wish they focused on more in the beginning of their business, they alllll told me - 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭.
Because, it all comes down to the beliefs you hold about yourself, the world, money, and making money, honey.
And it all comes down to the thoughts you have, how you respond to those thoughts, and then the stories you allow your thoughts to tell you.
When you 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 focus on mindset early on:
you’ll create limitations around what you can & cannot do
your strategy will fall flat because there’s no belief or energy in the execution
you’ll take every rejection personally
you’ll spiral and then disappear, lacking consistency
When you 𝘥𝘰 focus on mindset early on, you’ll:
break through limitations because you know everything can be figured out
rebound from setbacks faster
maintain consistency because you trust yourself & your path
There’s lots of ways you can...
When you don’t feel good enough, smart enough, or competent enough, you rely on other people to show you the way and help make your decisions - like a coach, a mentor, a parent, etc.
And because you’re constantly looking to others for guidance, when it comes time to make a decision for yourself….you freeze up. You feel incapable.
You panic, and then you sit in analysis paralysis, hoping that the perfect decision will just come to you.
You think you’re learning the ropes, but what you’re really learning is not to trust yourself.
Every decision you make sets a path into motion:
Maybe you got a degree that you don’t use now, but you met the love of your life in third year.
Maybe you were in a mastermind where you were disappointed with the content, but you learned what you didn’t want in a coach and it led you to hire the right one next time.
Maybe you bombed a sales call or got rejected a bunch of times, but it led you to self-awareness &...
𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫…
The actual process of overcoming imposter syndrome may seem slow at first.
Changing your thoughts?
Cultivating safety & trust in your body?
These don’t sound like easy things, do they?
It’s like working out - it doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger.
And the benefits? Once you start to notice them, it’s your motivation to keep going.
They look like:
Not needing to have all the answers to take action. You know that there is always more to learn and that 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, you know enough to help somebody and to make an impact.
Emotional regulation & self-mastery - this looks like self-awareness out the hoo-ha, and action to match. You process things easier, are less reactive, and sustain habits that help you stay consistent and successful.
Boundaries out the hoo-ha, too. Not just with others, but yourself. You take time doing things you enjoy. You prioritize your...
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬.
It’s not a disease, or a life sentence. It’s just a pattern of thoughts that you have continued to think over & over again, because of beliefs that have been misinterpreted from past experiences that you’ve given truth to and continued to perpetuate.
Suuuper chill, right?
But the thing is, you’re 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 with these beliefs.
You truly 𝘥𝘰 believe that because of who you are, where you came from, and what you have to offer, you’re unable to achieve what you want to achieve.
You truly 𝘥𝘰 believe that you’re faking people out and they’re going to find out you’re not as intelligent or capable as you’re making it seem.
𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 & 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.
And so is imposter syndrome.
It is 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 a dysfunctional thinking pattern. One that is deeply rooted in the beliefs you hold about yourself and the world, buuuuut still 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 a dysfunctional thinking pattern - which means...
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.
Why you should hold back, and play small.
Why someone wouldn’t want to buy from you.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.
Because this is the meaning you’re giving your story. And because you whole-heartedly believe this, you hide. You don’t talk about your services how you wish you could. You don’t have boundaries with yourself or your audience/clients.
Whereas someone with the exact same story as you, could be using it as her hero story. As to WHY she’s good enough. As to why someone would want to buy from her, because she’s unapologetically herself and embraces the parts of her that she knows other people can relate to.
And she’d be right, too. Because she’s choosing for this story to empower her, instead of letting it keep her small.
This is why 𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨-𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐍𝐋𝐏) is so powerful. NLP allows us to access those subconscious stories and...
So I don't know about you, but I always get my best ideas while driving!
The other day while driving, I started thinking about being relatable and how I often share my real raw experiences with my audience.
So I never want to use really vague examples.
Whenever I'm talking about something, I use my own life and something that I've experienced and that I'm struggling with.
And even if I'm currently struggling with that, I'll be very open and transparent with my clients because I really believe that it is important and people really need to hear that they're not alone.
And that's because shame is our default setting! Shame is what we resort to because it was how we were raised.
A lot of this generation was raised on shame.
I think about the time where I went to the grocery store with my family when I was like 8 years old. And I stole like one of those tape gum things.
I took it out of my pocket and showed it to my sister once we got into the...
𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜.
And it’s total bull shit.
Listen, it’s normal to feel jealous and a little competitive. That “grass is greener” type of stuff is inevitable.
But if the compulsion to compare is so often for you, that it’s getting in the way of running your business - the empathy I have for you won’t last long.
And that’s because you’re letting your ego 𝘸𝘪𝘯.
If you were to really put yourself out there and hear crickets, your ego would be bruised.
If you were to really not give a f*ck what others were doing or what they thought of you, you could be susceptible to their judgement or their rejection.
So it’s easier to compare, it’s easier to focus on what’s 𝘯𝘰𝘵 working for you and what 𝘪𝘴 working for them.
𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 - jealousy about what someone else is doing or what someone else has is your way of saying that you think they’re happy, and that’s what you want to...